I’m not sure what to do next – and that’s scary

It’s been amazing to read all the responses from people who resonate with my desire to live a fundamentally different life…

Where I get to be human and not a work zombie trapped in an oppressive system.

If you haven’t read those blog posts yet but want to, here’s the first and second post.

Because you see, 2017 was the year I healed to free myself of the internal chains that made me feel like I could never leave Everyday Feminism to follow my calling.

And 2018 has been the year I’ve been listening to my inner spirit for what I wish to create in that clearing I worked so hard to make.

I have a general sense of my calling, which is:

…to live a deeply human life that is heart-centered, spirit-led, and community-supported, and

..to share my journey and practices with others.

If you’re getting this blog post, you know I’ve been on this journey for the last decade. Out of it has come Everyday Feminism and several online courses on healing from oppression.

I’m not short on ideas or ability to create trainings for you!

But Here’s Where It Gets Scary

In this moment, I don’t know in which specific way I want to move forward.

While I’m not the first one to try to live such a life, I am the first ‘me’ trying to do this in the current situation of now.

I am the only one who can clear the path forward for myself – and I will make the road by walking.

I’ve done enough healing and spiritual work to embrace my own power and freedom.

But here’s the funny thing.

When you realize you can make your own choices, you also realize it can be scary to be the one to make them.

Sometimes it’s because:

  • We’re afraid that if we make a mistake, we are a mistake.
  • We’re more afraid of taking the chance of something better because it might get worse.
  • We’re afraid of hurting our loved ones or making them upset with our choices.
  • We’re feel we have to make a decision now and act now, because time and money seem to be so scarce.

I’ve done enough healing and spiritual work to be released from the first two fears.

But the last two fears are still here inside of me.

So I’m left unsure of how I want to move forward – but more from those fears than from actually not knowing.

That’s why I’m going to take advice from my own teachings and let myself just be where I am right now.

I’m not going to try to make myself change how I feel, push past it, or ignore it.

I’m going to let myself be open to the fears inside – as I move forward with building a deeply human life.

And I’m not going to try to do this alone.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last decade of healing and liberation journey, it’s that it can’t be done alone.

I Want Us To Invest In Each Other’s Journeys

So I need you to be a part of this journey with me. As much as I have been helpful to you with my work, you have been helpful to me.

The question for me is “how do we want to be in relationship with each other?”

When I thought about a less-transactional, more-relational way doing this work with you, the framing of Mutual Investment came up for me.

Instead of trying to exchange online courses for money, I’m thinking of doing something similar to Patreon, which supports creatives in crowdfunding their regular work.

What if:

  • I regularly shared with you my life journey of healing and liberation through a blog because I want to invest in your ability to engage in your own journey

  • I hosted regular online video conferences to share where we were in our journeys so you can know you’re not alone and and get support

  • You invest a small regular monthly amount of money that you choose to support me in engaging in my own journey

If even 10% of the people who get this email invested $5 per month, it would be enough to provide a basic income for me.

And I’d be able to provide my teachings without financial worry.

This feels different to me then selling a course like I typically do, because I’m asking you to invest in an ongoing relationship with me and in each of our own journeys.

We may not know what the outcome will be but we believe in each other enough to want to be in the journey together – and are willing to show up for each other and ourselves.

I’d love to get your thoughts on this vision of Mutual Investment by you clicking on the most resonate response:

Just a reminder that no answer is right or wrong. I just want to get a sense of where you are in this conversation so I can proceed appropriately.

I don’t know what the future holds for me but I do know that if we move forward together, we’re going to be alright.

Thanks for being here with me!